Merry Christmas, folks! Let’s talk about some Christmas treats. You know, having football games to watch on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day certainly raises my holiday spirit. Teams will be unwrapping their gifts, hoping for that special surprise, just like the one the Saskatchewan Speedsters (Zach) received last week with 29 seconds to go in the Monday night game.
That game-changing Jaxson Smith-Njigba TD in the last minute on Monday night was a delightful treat for the Speedsters.
The Speedsters secured the victory and survived the playdowns. But it was a lump of coal in the Phoenix Heat (Steven) stocking. That’s the fun of it. Some will get a bonus Christmas gift, while others will be left to google “fun uses for coal.” Either way, this should be an exciting week full of critical matchups.
FAMILY DIVISION
Last week was a thriller as the Farmville Furies (Maddie) defeated the top-ranked team in the standings and punched their ticket to the playoffs.
However, despite the loss, the Coastal Wave (Abbey) also clinched a coveted playoff spot. With outstanding 10-5 records, these two former champions can take a breather this week and see who will join them in the final four. It is a nail-biting race for the other two positions, with three teams battling.
Last week, the Romney Raiders (Joey) clinched a crucial victory over the Lynchburg Lemonades (Ryan), tipping the scales in their favor.
However, the battle for the playoffs is far from settled. The Columbus Cowboys (Ben) join the Raiders at a game ahead of the Lemonades going into this final decisive week of the regular season. There will be three games to decide the last two playoff combatants.
Lynchburg needs a victory, and one or both of the other two lose, forcing a crucial tiebreak scenario. Will it be a great gift or a lump of coal for these three teams? Only Santa knows who has been naughty and who has been nice.
FIRST DIVISION
Okay, let’s begin with the obvious. The 12-3 Olney Ospreys (Kirsi) have owned this division all year. Their dominant three-game lead over second place is quite the statement. The Ospreys have secured their spot in the playoffs. At 9-6, the second-place Louisiana Lycanthropes (Kiley) join the Ospreys in the playoffs.
But the drama builds from there as the other two spots are up for grabs going into what promises to be a thrilling final week. It’s playoff intensity at its best. Here are the four teams battling for the last two spots in the playoffs.
But there is additional drama this week. There are currently three teams within a game of last place.
The two teams that finish 9th and 10th will battle next week in a relegation game, with the loser being the second team moving down into the family division next year. So, winning this week and moving into eighth place will be important. So, that makes every game this week critical.
Just when we thought the defending champs were done, they dusted themselves off and got back in the box, hitting it out of the park with a two-game winning streak. Never underestimate the heart of a champion. One more win may give the Baltimore Bulldogs (Katie) a chance to defend their title in the playoffs.
The Dakota Dragons (Butch) must win to secure a playoff spot, while the Poultry Platoon (Erika) must climb out of the cellar to avoid the relegation game next week. Desperate teams make for an exciting matchup.
The Allegheny Alligators (Cody) are in must-win mode to avoid the relegation game next week. It was just their luck to run into the 9-6 Lycanthropes.
The West Virginia Blacklungs (Rob S) have the advantage in the race for the final two playoff positions. A win and they are in, but a loss, they will be in that dreaded tiebreak scenario. The Oregon Lumberjacks (Jeremy) need a big victory to climb out of the cellar and avoid the dreaded relegation game.
The Ospreys will look to put their boot on the neck of another opponent. But the Kobe Beef (Kobe) should put up an impressive fight in this matchup. After starting 2-8, the Beef are riding a five-game winning streak and are looking to write a historic comeback story.
DYNASTY DIVISION
PLAYDOWNS
We already covered the dramatic last-second come-from-ahead loss by the Phoenix Heat last week. That heartbreaking defeat has put the Heat into the playdown semi-finals. It is a familiar tale that repeats itself every year, the teams in this position have rosters that don’t belong here, and this is no exception. The defending champion Heat were the third-highest-scoring team during the regular season but still excluded from the playoffs. Well, you know how it goes. When you are the champ, everyone brings their A-game. And there is no doubt the Real Dakota Dragons (Dakota) will bring their A-game this week. After a week to sit and stew, you can bet the Dragons are ready to go.
Wow! Both of these teams have played in the Super Bowl twice in the last seven years. Both of these franchises typically battle for titles. Yet now, they are matched up in the playdown semis, a game from the Toilet Bowl. The Montana Mountaineers (Chuck) were the champions just two years ago. That means the last two Super Bowl winners are playing in the playdown semis. This remarkable reality shows how fast things can change, even in Dynasty leagues.
PLAYOFFS
This year will be historic no matter which team wins the championship. No promotion team has ever won the Super Bowl, and all four teams remaining in the semi-finals are promotion teams. Only one team can be the first, so seeing which team lays claim to the feat will be fun and an extra layer of drama. We can finally end the debate about whether promotion teams can win this league. This final four ended that debate with extreme prejudice.
Our first semi-final features two teams who roll in with 9-6 records, and both teams had ups and downs throughout the season. Not only have the Myrtle Beach Wave (Rob D) had a roller-coaster season, but their recent history has been a roller-coaster ride. Back in Super Bowl XXV (2014), the Wave earned their first title belt. Since then, they have been relegated, and then won promotion, and are now fighting for another Dynasty championship belt. Awesome!
The DC Braves (Shebaz) have been right on the edge of a championship for the last few years. They always seem right there in the mix, and even the favorite at times, like two years ago when they were the top-scoring team, but have not had the breaks go their way. Maybe this is the year they finally catch a break instead of getting hit over the head when someone else does.
Two of the longest-tenured teams meet up in this semi. The West Virginia Rednecks (Wayne) were one of the original eight teams in 1990, and the Louisiana Lightning (Denny) joined in 1991. Both of these teams are also former champions, albeit a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Okay, maybe just a long time ago because these guys are really, really, really old, which was my point.
The Lightning won their last chip back in 2007, while the Rednecks last won back in 2001. These crotchety old guys may have learned how to compete in the modern era. And like the Wave, these two will also be redemption stories because both were relegated, earned their way back with promotion, and are now marching onto the Super Bowl.
This year’s final four storylines are awesome, but there is another point to add. In the previous nine years, we have had eight different teams claim titles in the Dynasty Division. If anyone other than the Wave wins this year, we will have had nine different championship teams in ten years. That is an amazing statistic and a testament to the parity and competitiveness of this league.
Good luck to all, and Merry Christmas!
Oh, and don’t forget the most important Christmas tradition of all, watching the greatest Christmas movie of all time. I mean, the whole story is about a guy overcoming obstacles on Christmas Eve so he can spend Christmas with his family.
This is Christmas music!