Week Seventeen – Chutes and Ladders

Happy New Year to everyone! Hopefully, you already had a great Christmas and can wrap up the holiday season with a great New Year. Welcome to the  “chutes and ladders” week of fantasy football, arguably the most crucial week of the season. All four promotion spots will be clinched, the final two demotion spots will be determined, and, of course, it is Super Bowl week in the Dynasty Division. That is a lot of fun packed into one thrilling week.

Two NFL games have already been played, but there is no Monday night game, so we will know the results by the time the new year kicks off.

FAMILY DIVISION

The playoffs are here, and the final four contenders are ready to battle. The stakes are high this week because victory doesn’t just mean a chance to compete for the title next week but also secures promotion into the First Division next season. It’s a battle for glory and advancement.

Both games are shockingly similar, so let’s dive into them together.

The Farmville Furies (Maddie) and the Coastal Wave (Abbey) are both former champions, each on a quest to become the first two-time champion of the Family Division. Only one person can do it first, so the race is on.

In both games, the opponents are rookies in their debut seasons. These two rookies, the Columbus Cowboys (Ben) and the Romney Raiders (Joey), are looking to etch their names in the league history books on their first try. It is really weird how these two games are so similar.

However it plays out, someone will make history.

FIRST DIVISION

The stakes are the same in the First Division semi-finals. The winners advance to the title game and earn promotion into the Dynasty Division.

Our first matchup presents a historic opportunity. The winner earns a chance to be the first person to win a title on two different league levels.

The Olney Ospreys (Kirsi), former champions of the Family Division Champions, could also set a milestone as the first to earn promotion from the Family Division all the way to the Dynasty Division. Their opponent, the Dakota Dragons (Butch), a formidable four-time champion of the Dynasty Division, is looking to add a fifth title belt.

In the other clash, the West Virginia Blacklungs (Rob S) are eyeing a return to glory by earning promotion just one year after being demoted to the first division. Their opponent, the two-time First Division champion Louisiana Lycanthropes (Kiley), is also eyeing a return to glory after losing last year’s title game. Do they just play in the title game every year?

We need to mention one last matchup quickly.

This game is for relegation, with the loser sliding down the chute to the family division next season.

DYNASTY DIVISION

TOILET BOWL

The Toilet Bowl is our final chute and ladder game. The loser of this matchup will slide down to the First Division next season.

Look, I always say how the teams in this game do not deserve to be here. And the Real Dakota Dragons are no exception. Any team led by Jalen Hurts and Tyreke Hill should be in a completely different position, but here we are.

Another of my constant themes is that you have to win eight games in the Dynasty Division to ensure a playoff berth. If you end up in the tiebreak, bad things can happen. And the Virginia Pioneers are a great example. Tied for seventh place in the standings at the end of the regular season, they lost the tiebreak due to a four-point loss in Week five. And now, a pair of tough losses has them in the Toilet Bowl and facing relegation. Just awful!

SUPER BOWL

The margins are so thin in the Dynasty Division. Now, guess who won that tiebreak?

The Louisiana Lightning finished the regular season at 7-7, clinched that critical tiebreak, and then defeated the top two seeds in the playoffs. It’s an impressive streak, but the Lightning are not content to stop there. Louisiana is on a mission, climbing all the way to the title game after earning promotion last year.

The Myrtle Beach Wave also look to make history. Both teams are former promotion teams, and no promotion team has ever won a Dynasty Division title. The winner of this game will be the first, “there can only be one.”

Good luck everyone, and Happy New Year.

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