Week 16: Super Bowl, Toilet Bowl, Championships, Promotions, and Relegations

Week Sixteen has arrived.  This is THE week in our fantasy football leagues.  This is Super Bowl week, Toilet Bowl week, Championship week, Promotion week, and relegation week.  It should be an exciting week.

Family Division

The regular season finished with a bang in the family division.

The Poultry Platoon (Erika) won again in their quest to make the Championship game, and finished a very strong 10-5 in their inaugural season.  The Allegheny Alligators (Cody) also pulled off the victory this week, and both teams ended the season at 10-5, tied for the second Championship game position.

These two teams played each other three times during the regular season, with the Alligators winning two of those three matchups.  So, the Alligators win the tie-break and earn a spot in the Champion Game this week.

FAMILY DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP GAME

12-3 Farmville Furies (Maddie) versus the 10-5 Allegheny Alligators (Cody)

It is always sweet to win a Championship, and these two will battle to join the Coastal Waves (Abbey) on the list of Family Division Champions.  The winner will also join the Waves in the First Division next season.

These two teams met three times during the regular season.  The Alligators won back in week two, but the Furies won the next two matchups in week seven and week twelve.  That week two defeat left the Furies at 0-2.  However, Farmville proceeded to win twelve of their next thirteen games, with their only loss in week ten to the Seymour Hoosiers (Myiah).  The bottom line, the Furies have dominated the league this year after starting slow, and come in as the favorite.

But this is fantasy football, and anything can happen on any given week.  The Alligators look to slay the monster and win a championship.  Good luck to you both.

First Division

What an exciting finish in the First Division.  

Both the West Virginia Rednecks (Wayne) and Kobe Beef (Kobe) won their games last week to improve their records to 8-7.  The two teams had done their part by earning victories, and both had a chance to slip into the last playoff spot.  But they would need the Fruitland Fruit Flies (Tanner) to slip up and lose their game for the three-way tie.

Going into Monday night, the Fruitland Fruit Flies (Tanner) were in a pretty good position.  Fruitland was losing at the time.  But with Ben Roethlisberger and Chase Claypool playing that night against the woeful Cincinnati Bengals, Fruitland was still projected to win by ESPN.  But that was before Big Ben began playing like a washed-up old man.  Roethlisberger and Claypool’s poor performance left the Fruit Flies three points shy of a playoff-clinching victory.  The Baltimore Bulldogs (Katie) had played spoiler, defeating the Fruit Flies.  The Fruit Flies would finish 8-7, and enter the tie-break with West Virginia and Kobe.

Here is how the tie-break went.

  1. West Virginia Rednecks (2-1), +21.12 Point Differential
  2. Fruitland Fruit Flies (2-1), +5.45 Point Differential
  3. Kobe Beef (0-2)

West Virginia survived the tie-break and would advance into the playoffs.  Sorry Fruitland, I thought you had it made going into Monday night.  That was a tough loss.  And once again, poor Kobe Beef.  In what seems like a seasonal occurrence, they just barely miss out on promotion.

Playoffs – Semi-Finals

11-4 Louisiana Lycanthropes (Kiley) versus 8-7 West Virginia Rednecks (Wayne)

For the 3rd time in five years, the Lycanthropes are sitting in the #1 seed.  They won a First Division Championship back in 2018 and look to become the first two-time champion in the First Division.  But first, they will need to defeat the red-hot Rednecks to get into that championship game.  West Virginia is coming in on a five-game winning streak. The one-time 3-7 team made an impressive run into the playoffs.  Now, West Virginia has a shot at becoming the first team to win a championship on two different levels.

11-4 Woodsboro Corn Snakes (Michael) versus 10-5 San Antonio Reapers (John)

These two will play each other for the second straight week.  The Reapers defeated the Corn Snakes this week by putting up the most points of any team.  That win bumped the Corn Snakes into the second seed, forcing a rematch this week. 

The Reapers also won the matchup between these two teams back in week six.  Woodsboro only lost four games all year, and two of those losses came to the Reapers.  They are obviously salty and looking for payback.  In what promises to be a chippy game, the winner will advance to the Championship game next week.  These two were the #1 and #2 scoring teams on the season, so you can expect a shootout.

Relegation Game

4-11 Coastal Waves (Abbey) versus 3-12 Baltimore Incinerators (Genal)

This matchup may not be an actual relegation game because there may not be a relegation out of the First Division this year.  But, they will play it out just in case.

The Waves are a cautionary tale.  Last year, the Waves were the Family Division Champions and earned promotion into the First Division.  However, I think they discovered the competitiveness of the first division much more challenging.  These are seasoned owners who know how to run a franchise.  What will be interesting is how long it takes before the Waves are winning Championships in this division.  Probably not very long, in my opinion.  I expect they will figure it out quickly, and add a First Division title to their resume soon.

Of course, a First Division championship would lead to potentially moving into the Dynasty Division.  And that is also a completely different animal.  The jump from the Family Division to the First Division is large, but the jump into the Dynasty Division is the Grand Canyon. 

We are now going into our 5th season of promotion and relegation.  There have been a total of eight teams promoted into the Dynasty Division from the First Division.  Those eight teams have combined for a total of one playoff spot, while two of the eight promoted teams ended up relegated the very first season.  The Saskatchewan Speedsters (Zach) earned that one playoff game.  Where are they this year?  Playing in the Toilet Bowl and staring down relegation.

However, it is not all doom and gloom for the promotion teams.  The Louisville Leapers (Shane) have been right on the playoff bubble the last few years.  After making the playoffs last year, the Speedsters were 5-2 this year before starting their slide.  And as of right now, the DC Braves (Shehbaz) have one of the most talented rosters in the league.  And the promotion teams from last year, the Myrtle Beach Wave (Rob D) and Oregon Lumberjacks (Jeremy), have played in Super Bowls and even won a Championship (Wave) in the Dynasty Division.  So, this statistic of only one playoff game is surely going to change next year.  But teams will need to work hard to build a roster in dynasty.  And that’s the fun of it.

Rookie Drafts, defensive players, 47 player rosters, year-round action, and trades galore.  I guess I understand why the Louisiana Lycanthropes decline promotion to remain in the First Division, so she doesn’t have to deal with us “crazy people.” It is certainly an active and competitive league.

So, where do things stand in the Dynasty division?

DYNASTY DIVISION

Playdowns

We will begin by congratulating the Myrtle Beach Wave (Rob D) and DC Braves (Shehbaz) for getting wins and surviving the playdowns.  Both locker rooms instantly broke out in the following cheer.

“we’re not the worst, we’re not the worst”  So classic, that never fails to make me smile.

Unfortunately, that leaves Louisiana and Saskatchewan to battle it out in the Toilet Bowl.  Only one more team will get to cheer, “we’re not the worst.”  The loser will join the Dakota Dragons in the First Division next year.

Toilet Bowl

6-9 Louisiana Lightning (Denny) versus 5-9-1 Saskatchewan Speedsters (Zach)

As I have said, it is unreal how deep the amount of fantasy talent is these days.  All of the teams in the playdowns had talented rosters that could have made playoff runs.  But alas, there they were, battling to survive.  And these two remaining clubs are perfect examples of teams that do not deserve to be in the Toilet Bowl.

The Speedsters made the playoffs last year and started this year 5-2.  There is no chance a team does that in this league without having talent.  But at that point, the fantasy football gods struck.  Injuries, playing the wrong team on the wrong week, the fantasy gods just continued to pummel the Speedsters.  They proceeded to go 0-7-1 over the next eight weeks and are now fighting to end the slide and survive.

And then there are the Louisiana Lightning.  They come into the season with a deep, talented, and young roster led by the number one overall fantasy player in Christian McCaffery.  But alas, CMC only plays in two and a half games.  Despite losing CMC, the Lightning manage to go 6-7 and finish half a game out of the playoffs.

Look, McCaffery scored six TDs in the three games he played.  How many do you think he would have scored in the other twelve weeks?  I am pretty sure it would have been enough to give the Lightning at least one or two more wins.  But here they are, with only one more chance to save the season and come back next year to make a run at the title.

Both teams are due for some good luck, but only one will find it.  Good luck fellas, only one of you will not be the worst.

Playoffs

The Phoenix Heat (Steven) came into the semi-finals last week on a roll.  They were the defending champions.  They had been the number one scoring team in the league for two straight seasons.  They had outscored all other playoff teams for an amazing four consecutive weeks, three last year and the first week this year.  They looked unstoppable.

But the Minnesota Blizzard (Geri) put an absolute beat down on the Heat last week.  The Blizzard nearly doubled the Heat production with a 91-46 final score.  The grasshopper has now learned who the real Master is.

Fantasy football bad beat stories are as common as poker bad beat stories.  Everyone who plays has at least one good one.  But let me share another with you, from a playoff game last week.

The West Virginia Blacklungs (Rob S) came into the Monday night game with a six-point lead.  The only player going against them was Dionte Johnson, who seemed to forget how to catch the football in recent weeks.  Plus, the Blacklungs had the Pittsburgh coach.  Once the 11-2 Steelers beat the 2-10-1 Bengals, they would get three more points.  So their lead was effectively 9. 

This likely scenario meant for the Blacklungs to lose, Dionte Johnson would need ten fantasy points.  Johnson had reached ten fantasy points only once in thirteen weeks this season.  A victory was looking “likely” for the Blacklungs.

And then the game began.  Big Ben started playing like Benny Hill, and suddenly, things were getting interesting.  It quickly became apparent that the Blacklungs could not count on that “likely” Steelers’ victory. 

Ben Roethlisberger put up his worst QB rating since October 8th of 2017.  And to make matters worse, probably the only good pass Roethlisberger threw all night was the TD to no other than Dionte Johnson.  It was the perfect storm of unlikely events that lead to a come from ahead loss for the Blacklungs.  Now that was a bad beat.

This night was tough for the Seymour household.  That is a Steeler house, and both Rob and Tanner’s eliminations resulted from Big Ben’s terrible performance.  OUCH!  The dreaded triple whammy.

Of course, we failed to mention which team made this improbable, late Monday night, come from behind victory.  It was the freagin Minnetonka Chippewas (Greg), yet again.  Three straight wins secured at the final buzzer on Monday night, and all three were elimination games.  Unprecedented and completely unreal.  Rumor has it that the Chippewas brought in Brian Sipe as a team motivator earlier this year.  Smart move because now the Chippewas have become the new Kardiac Kids. 

It has been an awesome, amazing, and fun run by the Chippewas.  But there is one game remaining.

SUPER BOWL XXXI

10-5 Minnesota Blizzard (Geri) versus 9-6 Minnetonka Chippewas (Greg)

This matchup is between the two Minneapolis powerhouses.  The Blizzard just ended a six-year drought of missing the Super Bowl.  That is the longest stretch in the history of the Blizzard.  Now, the five-time champion looks to add another notch to their belt.

Waiting for them is the Chippewas, who are looking to win their 2nd Championship in the last three seasons.  The Chippewas won Super Bowl XXIX in 2018.  Minnetonka would join an elite company with two titles in three years.

Is it possible for the Chippewas to win again late on Monday night?  I have no idea, but it sure would be fun.

Good luck to everyone this week in winning championships, advancing to championship games, avoiding relegation, and earning promotions.  It should be another exciting week.

  

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